im usually talking shit all the time
im just... lost... dont know what to do...where to go...
it just doesnt seem rite... its not rite anymore...
i just cant stand it... im fuckin lost...
i was just thinking that in one second when everything was settling down... everything started to go well...when sun started to shine a bit... everything started to change...
just in that exact second...ive lost a part of me...a very very really fuckin important part of me...
and...now that i cant reach you...touch you..hug you...talk to you anymore...
i just cant seem to find things rite anymore...
i dont get to smile...like i used to... be like i used to...talk or even walk...like i used to...
everybody says that its going to be fine...that everything will be ok...
what if...what if it doesnt ?
what if it doesnt change ? what if all get worse...?
like it seems to be happening now...
i just lost my strenght
dont think i can fight it anymore...
i just cant take it...its too much for me ...
now i get everything that you said to us...
we deserve each other ...we are mean ... we did this to you
dont we ?
i guess ppl would say that i should like move on...look into the future
stop looking back...we've got lot of things waiting for us...we have him..
my little sunshine that we have to fight for him...
thats what ive been doing... but...
everythings wrong...none of this feels rite...
ive noticed today that i just ...dont feel anything...
im like empty...and im not just another drama queen
complaining about my life and how everything turned out...
its the truth...i dont feel anything...
mom really scared me today...santi came into my room and i wasnt listening to him...
cuz i was to busy doing nothing on the computer...and then he said...
'grannys sleeping on the floor'...i came out of my room and there she was...
lying on the floor...i just...freaked out... didnt know what to do...
i started slapping her face and then she woke up...i guess she just passed out...
but the only thing i could think of...was...
what if i lose her too ?
im scared thats the only feeling i have now...not scared of just losing her...
scared of whats gonna happen to us ?
whats gonna happen to me ?
i need answers...i just cant sit and 'wait and see'
dunno dad...i guess i really lost it now...
ive lost it all...